I’m back on the stucco roof

Feet dangling out from clouds of blunt smoke

And I’m back to Katherine’s ‘no’

The kind of hardline you don’t cross

but she did give head in a triangle of light

that cut through the basement window

21 never felt so deadly—that year

so good—Chris’s motorcycle

which he let six or seven of us share

all summer, until Jon crashed it

broke his leg and got high forever

like a red kite that goes up and up

then out of sight into the horizon

Rest easy Jon

Rest easy Chris’s motorbike

The important thing is

we all got laid

Hit 110 mph

and went so fast into our wishes

that we ended up on the backend

of a medical tent

on the backend

of a dishpit

in a failing restaurant 

where the paycheck meant

blood on wrinkled hands

What I’m saying

is that when pills

go too far oh well

May the brain damage

be a reminder of ninety

sunsets we shared over

a drinking song

Picture a chant

lasting three months

Picture Jon shooting

arrows in the backyard

Proud of himself

I mean really proud of himself

for the bullseye and jokes

and all the pussy he was getting

The last summer

but a good one

In a parking lot for six hours

on top of the van roof

stargazing through light pollution

and blood pollution

My brain is borderline

crossed over

into suicide attempts

But still I’m here

telling you that 

a recklessly good time

is a shining blue marble

Earth and Andromeda 

I have been beyond

Way past the surface

with these friends

Beyond and through

So far into powder and tears

So far into hugs and funerals

With the stolen Camry of 2008

rolling downhill as Sam yells

fucking run

and I flail

into the ravine 

This is how I learned to love

Overdose

Mania

Small talk over a burning zigzag

Sit with me then

Tell me 

how have you been

And pass the lighter

let’s smoke another one

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